If Weather Models Were Rappers

Well, first of all, I feel like there is a need to explain myself on this one. My mind is a very interesting place, full of daydreams, memories, random thoughts, and a constant stream of interestingness (or at least I think so). There are times where this can take a wrong turn, and my mind gets tangled up because of the fact that it is constantly moving, but aside from that, I love my mind.

So, I guess that provides a bit of background explanation for why my mind came to this conclusion anyways. Additionally, I had written this piece about weather models, and the comparison with their verification statistics. This leads me to another odd backstory. In High School, I consistently compared the world power structure to the way rapping, and music in general, is structured. The US would be Tupac or Jay Z, Russia would be Eminiem (Putin looks like him, kinda), etc. Well, this thought brought me to this the other day:

I made the public claim that, yes, we should pit the weather models against each other as if it were a rap battle. So how would this work? First of all, you have to use verification stats. Without those, this is basically useless. How do you compare rappers if you don’t compare them by ratings, sales, etc (none of that was used to rate them here)?

So, in a similar fashion, trying to compare weather models without their verification stats is like trying to build a house on ground that has a base but underneath the surface, it is only milk. It will eventually begin to smell bad and collapse. Secondly, you use big storms and how well the weather models do with them. Sandy is a good one.

I’ll get to that soon, but you get the picture. 4/27 stuff, Boston snow event verification stuff, etc. Then, you basically have them duke it out, with the ECMWF almost always winning. So, if you were to assign rappers to weather models, it would look like this:

ECMWFJay Z. The ECMWF is the king of numerical forecasting, and as such should be given the best. Also: the ECMWF, in this fact universe, dropped the best ’16’ ever when it forecasted Sandy in fantasy land. If it were a rap battle, everyone else would have left crying because they couldn’t even try.

Jay Z and the ECMWF are often times sharing the on-top-of-the-world feeling. (h/t dailymail.co.uk)

GFS2 Chainz. The occasional success of the GFS is very nice, and it occasionally has a logical hit, but not too often. Very overrated in general, but people just don’t care. They like horrible lines, and useless talking within. Oh, 2 Chainz.

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The GFS and 2 Chainz often feel as if they are baller. However, they are not. 2 CHAIIIIINZZZZ. (h/t hiphopwired.com)

UKMETBig Sean, soon to be Run DMC. Very underrated, and just got a lot better. So maybe the UKMET should be Run DMC? I mean it will be able to forecast at a 1.5 km resolution, which is like releasing a 25 song album, it going quadruple platinum and still being pretty good. Either way, the UKMET is underrated and is good. Also has a gold chain, but is not from Detroit. *UPDATE* I am going with Run DMC. I just don’t wanna change this first paragraph. Also, their group picture is much cooler than any I found of Big Sean.

The UKMET is about to upgrade to a 1.5 km resolution. This is about accurate. (h/t bhmpics.com)

CMCJuicy J. Only good occasionally. Still better than the GFS and 2 Chainz, but if they were to collaborate, it would kinda suck. I mean, Juicy J had a song with Katy Perry. He also raps like he uses a lot of commas in weird places. Take note, weather world. The CMC is about to drop commas on you.

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According to a song I just heard, he’s about to take yo girl. Similarly, the CMC is about to take yo computer (that was forced). (h/t billboard.com)

JMABobby Shmurda. If we are all honest, we only look at the JMA to kinda pat our Japanese counterparts on the back, and say, “Nice try. You’ll get ’em next time!”. Like the GFS isn’t even this bad. Similarly, 2 Chainz is somehow not worse than Bobby Shmurda, who wrote a song with the ‘B’ word in it 46 times. That screams creativity. Anyways, just look at the JMA for kicks and giggles, because it is a kicks an giggles weather model.

Well, I have nothing to say. I am pretty sure that while doing research for this post, I discovered that my favorite NBA team secretly employs the worst rapper to ever live. Holy crap. Maybe that is why OKC won’t sign him long term? Hahahaha. Oh, JMA. (h/t complex.com)

So, in this metaphorical weather model rap battle, I will take my chances with the ECMWF and Jay Z on this one. But, I mean, none of us are the same.